Crazy interview with Itachi
by Chocolatedream
Summary: Just a little interview I wrote to waste some time. Really funny! Read, enjoy and review!


Hi there! My name's Chocolatedream! I wrote this interview just to waste some time, it has no sense, but I liked it!

°°These are actions°°

CD: Chocolatedream speaks

Itachi: Itachi speaks

SQUEK is the sound of the hammer

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**The scene**: Theatre full of screaming fan girls, the lights turn off. Silence. When they turn on two mysterious figures are seen on the box. A girl is talking to a blond-haired man

"WTF? What happened to the lights? Is there someone who owns enough brain to remember that THE BUTTON OVER THERE IS TO SWITCH THE LIGHTS OFF AND THAT NONE IS ALLOWED TO PUSH IT?"

°°realizes to be seen by hundreds people°°

"Hi everyone! I'm Chocolatedream! Your loving interviewer!" °°shoves the blond man aside°°

"Well, today we're going to interview a Naruto character! I'd like to introduce you the interviewed" waves her hand "Let's say welcome to the Uchiha genius, Itachi, who is very very pleased to be here to answer our questions!"

The curtain opens to reveal a large box. There is a chair, and a boy is sitting on it. He's bound. And a huge hammer made of foam rubber hangs over his head.

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**CD**: Don't think bad, it's just to protect me from him, you know...°°giggles°°

The Uchiha clenches teeth.

**CD**: First I'm going to explain you the rules: I'm going to ask you a question. You'll have to answer. If you refuse to do this interview I'll just push this button °°shows a radio-control°° and the hammer over your head will hit you. It will hit you if you lie too. Got it?

Itachi nods

**CD**: Well... I assume we're ready. Let's begin with my interview!

°°Idiotic music plays for a while°°

**CD**: So, what's your name?

**Itachi**: You know my name

**CD**: Just answer my question °°presses the button°°

The hammer falls down _SQUEK _(It would be the sound of the hammer...)

**Itachi**: °°clenches teeth°° Itachi Uchiha

**CD**: Good boy. And then, your age?

**Itachi**: You know my age

_SQUEK_

**Itachi**: ok ok, I'm 17 (he's 17 right?)

_SQUEK_

**Itachi**: Hey! What the hell was that for?

**CD**: Sorry, my fault

_SQUEK_

**CD**: It's funny! °°presses again°°

_SQUEK_

**Itachi**: Are you finished?

**CD**: Yes, no worry. Your zodiacal sign?

**Itachi**: Gemini

**CD**: Date of birth?

**Itachi**: June, 9th

**CD**: One of your merits?

**Itachi**: I can kill my best friend without any regret

**CD**: °°shivers°° One of your faults?

**Itachi**: I don't have any

**CD**: The curse you say more frequently?

**Itachi**: ---- to keep the rating low the author decides to censure-----

**CD**: °°her face gets paler and paler°° let's talk about something else. What's your job?

**Itachi**: I'm a sexy killer

**CD**: Are you single?

**Itachi**: Why would...

_SQUEK_

**Itachi**: Do you think I...

_SQUEK_

**Itachi**: Wait...

_SQUEK _

**Itachi**: °°sighs°° Yes

Fan girls clap and scream

**Itachi**: °°glares daggers at Chocolatedream°° Let's finish this torture soon

**CD**: As you wish. What's your favourite colour?

**Itachi**: Black and red.

**CD**: Black and red? I'm beginning thinking you joined the Akatsuki just for their cloaks

**Itachi**: I didn't say that

**CD**: So why did you do it? World domination?

**Itachi**: That doesn't matter to me

The hammer hits Itachi's head automatically _SQUEK_

**CD**: AHA! YOU LIED!

**Itachi**: Maybe ruling the world wouldn't be that bad...

_SQUEK_

**Itachi**: I've always thought about ruling the world in order to kill every single person who writes fanfictions

**CD**: °°backs away°° So... let's talk about your past. Have you ever been inlove?

**Itachi**: Love is a feeling for weak people

_SQUEK_

**CD**: You shouldn't say that. Maybe you'll find your soul mate, one day

**Itachi**: Don't you dare to say such a foolish thing, you little annoying girl

_SQUEK_

**Itachi**: If you think to be strong because of this hammer you're wrong

_SQUEK_

**Itachi**: ….

_SQUEK_

**Itachi**: What's the next question?

**CD**: °°consults a piece of paper°° Oh yes... Here we go. Your favourite music and group?

**Itachi**: I never listen to music, but Kisame says that Korn would suit me

**CD**: I think that too. Favourite food and drink?

**Itachi**: Tempura and Tea

**CD**: What do you think about: Kisame?

**Itachi**: He's a good team mate, but he smells like a fish

**CD**: Sasuke?

**Itachi**: That brat. I let him live his miserable life a little bit longer and now he's come to the conclusion that I want to be killed by him

**CD**: Naruto?

**Itachi**: He's just a stupid kid

**CD**: Kakashi?

**Itachi**: Perv

**CD**: Orochimaru?

**Itachi**: he's just a man who overestimated himself for killing the Hokage but he's just a ------- Again, to keep the rating low the author decides to censure this part -----

**CD**: °°Laughs nervously°° All right. I have a last question.

**Itachi**: Finally

_SQUEK_

**CD**: Don't interrupt me. Everyone wonders why you kill your entire clan. And I downloaded all the anime just to find some particular that could explain your actions. Can you explain it now?

**Itachi**: The likes of you don't know how does it feel to be a genius. And how pathetic life can be when you're surrounded by lower IQ levels. I graduated at age 7, mastered the Sharingan when I was 8, became a Chunin at 10, and became an ANBU member at the age of 13. I'm a prodigal ninja. Killing my clan was just a test. I wanted to know how strong I was

_SQUEK_

**CD**: You're lying

**Itachi**: I'm telling the truth

_SQUEK_

**CD**: I don't think so

**Itachi**: I'm not lying

_SQUEK_

**CD**: Yes you are

**Itachi**: No I'm not

_SQUEK_

**CD**: My hammer thinks you're telling a lie.

**Itachi**: well I assume your hammer is a ------- to keep the rating low the author decides to censure this part too-----

_SQUEK_

**CD:** Lies and lies again

**Itachi**: I have no intention of telling my business to you little annoying thing

_SQUEK_

**CD**: Is this your last answer?

**Itachi**: Yes

**CD**: °°Talks to the blond-haired man who pushed above (you remember?)°° substitute that foam rubber hammer by a true one

**Itachi**: °°looks a bit frightened°° What are you planning to do?

**CD**: Nothing really °°Laughs evilly°°

The curtain closes and the blond-haired man invites the fan girls to leave.

----Behind the curtain---

**CD**: we're all alone now °°laughs again and presses the button°°

**Itachi**: °°gulps°° thinks: "If God was on my side then the hammer would miraculously not work saving me from a not happy ending"

God must have really hated him.

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What do you think about it? Did you like it?

Maybe, if you are good guys and post many many reviews, there will be a sequel, will Itachi tell the truth with a true hammer over his head? Who knows! I don't even know myself!

Review please!!


End file.
